My homie Kalosis is workin on an album.I think its sick but he can do better. He said well see what the family thinks, so let me know ya'll

Breakin you down takin control,
strings atttached to your fuckin soul,
when I'm there you'll nener know,
take a chance and pack your boul
Make you jump outside this window
laced with acid,smoke this endow
it won't hurt just a little
go ahead and grab your glock
do some shit and leave you shocked
kill a bigot drop dead shot
runnin all thru your block
once i start i do not stop
not until your soul go pop
runnin from a fuckin cop
now that i got you on the run
leave you fucked and on the run
see how far you think you've come
three chops to the back your done
Lookin for my next puppet
hooker na she'd probably love it
get addicted to the killin
chase the feelin
leave her pinned to the fuckin ceiling
with her skin gone and veins revealing
trust me homie i'm your sickness
figure out why I'm so vicious
take hold of an aborted baby
leave you screamin Jesus save me
or next thinkin that your crazy
go have fun with a fancy lady
leave her fucked and on the curb
smokin shit but not the herb
memorial service lives observed
nothing safe no where proserved
left alive wit your mind proterbed
see if you got me figured out
or if you know what this crimes about
listen to this demon screamin out my mouth
ILL GRAB YOUR HEART AND TEAR IT OUT!!!!

ok heres my thought and I've been a writer since I was 12 years old so take it or leave it it's up to you its good but the thing you want is great his biggest problem are his bars are so short like each one of his lines have very few words and descriptive words make all things better sometimes I use filler words
like for instance in this bar

when I'm there you'll nener know,
take a chance and pack your boul

it would be better to add some filler words to make it flow together better like say this bar

When I am there you will never know
take a fuckin chance and tightly pack your bowl

I really hope this helps him make and album and if he does please let me know I am looking for new psycopathic artists all the time and our page isn't up yet but you guys keep checking for the FreekShow or Mr. Sick Fuck on myspace music

Kalosis Circle of Shadows demo cd just dropped and that song has been rewritten, now its hot lol

Hit me up if you want a copy.